A Girl Named Sis

 

Thirteen Kids and One Success

My folks had thirteen kids. The theory was that every time my Daddy broke new ground for a corn patch that he had to have another kid to help hoe it. The Company store even gave Daddy a discount on hoes because he bought so many.

As I have told in previous stories, I was born with a full set of teeth (not so now) and a full head of hair.  Early each morning, Daddy would get up early and sharpen the hoes.

The slaves,  I mean children would line up and Daddy would hand each one a sharpened hoe. I was two days old and sitting on the porch chewing tobacco when one of the kids, Gerald, I think asked Daddy; Why don’t he have to work? Nodding toward me, Daddy said your Mama said he was not old enough yet. Gerald said he ate supper last night and he looks old enough to me. Besides, child labor laws have not been put in place yet.

Well, Daddy looked at Gerald and said: “I’ll be dammed, you do make sense once in  a while.”  He turned to look at me and growled, You, you get in line.” I fell off the porch and waddled over and got in line. Daddy took an old worn-out hoe, broke it over his knee, and handed it to me. The hoe was taller than me because I had not hit my growing spurt yet.

Daddy marched us out the driveway and down the road to the cornfield alongside Frozen Creek Road. He assigned us each a row of corn and told us to get to work. Although the other kids had voted me least likely to succeed , I tore into my row with my short sharp hoe and was waiting at the end of the field when the others finished their row.

Around noon, the Sheriff’s car stopped at the edge of the cornfield and talked with Daddy. I heard him say to Daddy: “ How’s it going Fred, getting the corn hoed today eh?

Daddy said yep, we have hoed almost an acre so far today. I piped up and said, “Daddy, you just been standing at the edge of the field leaning on your hoe.” He pulled his pearl handled 45 from its holster, aimed it at me and said : “ Do you want to make this your first and last day of work? The dust flew as I attacked another row of corn. As I was leaving, I heard the Sheriff ask Daddy: “How much do you think you will get out of this field?” Daddy replied, “Maybe a couple hundred gallons.

By the end of the day, I had blisters on my hands and I was tired. I promised myself  to get even with Gerald, but that’s another story.

Anyway, we grew up poor but one of the children was destined to get rich. She was just a skinny little girl, and nobody guessed that one day she would be famous and rich. She is a little touchy, so I don’t want to name her. For this story we will call her Sis. She was the least until a little baby girl named Vonda  Lee came along. Anyway, back to the story. When “Sis” was old enough to go to school, Mama had to tie her with  a rope and drag her to school. The school did not untie her for the first week. Then they tested her to see if the IQ meter peaked. Well, who would have thought, she tested out to be a genius. She played football, basketball, and pickle ball. She joined the track team and won every race she entered. She got interested in art and painted all the ceilings in school with frescos. The local paper did a story on her, and it was not long until the President of the United States came to town and gave her a grant to attend Harvard. She was 8 at the time. She set track records in Harvard and qualified for the Olympics 4 years in a row. She had so many gold medals that Fort Knox insisted on storing them due to the value.

At 10, she went to Switzerland and excelled in skiing and pickle ball. She still has the highest scores in both. She taught skiing and moved to France when she was 11 and bought a large villa where she grew grapes and won the top wine awards for 5 years running.

She bought a town in Oregon named Sisters. She named three mountains “the three sisters mountains”  She caught the biggest trout in Oregon history in the Deschutes river. She bought a castle in Scotland with a moat which she filled with alligators. Once Crocodile Dundee visited and he and Sis wrestled the alligators in the moat.

She was commissioned to paint replicas of all of Rembrandt’s paintings and became a world-renowned teacher of art from her Swiss Villa. When she would visit North Carolina, they flew in several Rolls Royce automobiles to drive her around.

I could go on and on. She turned down an offer to run for President and settled for just being a senior advisor. Anyway, you get the picture. Out of 13 kids, one turned out to be pretty successful.

In later life, she had an accident and broke her wrist playing pickle ball. That ended her career in Pickle ball, so, she just teaches the sport to others now.

I have a sister named Jeannette who has agreed to fact check my story for accuracy. She does not believe a storyteller should embellish a story. Fortunately, this is a true story. Everything has been documented and verified,  and if you don’t believe me, just ask me. I am not one known to embellish.  On one trip, one of her Rolls Royce Convertible came up missing. My friends keep asking me why I keep a car covered up in my carport.

 

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