The Case For The Return of The A Model Ford by Carl Owen

Things used to be so much simpler than they are now. When the A Model Ford was the thing to drive life was easier. You had your choice of colors as long as you chose black. You had a steering wheel and a gear shift and a clutch and of course a brake for the women drivers. Behind the seat was a wrench to start the car. You stuck the wrench into the front of the car and turned it like a lug wrench and the car started. Rarely did it fail to start and if it did you did not call a mechanic, you fixed it yourself with a piece of coat hanger and some duct tape. If you were able to afford a mechanic, he showed up with a coat hanger and some duct tape. When he was done, you paid him a dollar and gave him a dime tip.
My seester Vonda Lee recently went in Ebay and bought a Toyota Hybrid a Prius. Well, you have heard of a praying mantis and this car may be a prius mantus because Vonda prays she can figure out how to make it go from one place to another. I told her to get a coat hanger and some duct tape but she says you have to talk to the car and the computer does everything else. You say: Hey car, I need to go to the bathroom. The car says sorry Miz Vonda but if I stop now you will suffer a loss of gas mileage. Then Miz Vonda says look here car, when you gotta go, you gotta go so screw your gas mileage and find a rest stop like real soon. But says the car and Miz Vonda pulls out a 45 and the car pulls over and says to your left is a juniper bush. Anyway the bottom line is that if something goes wrong with the hybrid car, you have to call a mechanic who brings a computer with him instead if duct tape. Miz Vonda says what is wrong with the car and the mechanic says I have no idea but I will guess at it for $125.00 per hour.
Now, this car was located in Ohio (yankee land) and Miz Vonda intended to fly to Ohio and spend 5 days driving this hybrid car back to Montana. She could not get out of Kalispell so she flew to Salt Lake City. Makes sense so far right??? Oh I forgot to mention, she hired a truck driver to load the car up in Ohio and deliver it to her in Salt Lake City. When she got the car she could not figure out how to start or stop it. Thankfully it came with a book. They figured out how to get it to Nevada where she gambled and there is no get rich story to tell about that stop over. So she drove from Nevada to Twin Falls about 55 miles from her brother who had Tequila in his liquor cabinet. We won’t go into too much detail about the tequila either. Mike helped her brother put a bed together and a cabinet for the white girl’s quilting room. Oh, I almost forgot, when they stopped in Twin Falls, they left the car running and went into a restaurant for about 43 minutes. When they came out Miz Vonda said What the hell, why is the car still running. Mike said I did not get to the part in the book to get it to shut off. The car said Hey, nobody told me to stop and Miz Vonda did not pull out her 45 so I just continued to run. I am sure there will be more to this story as they make their way toward Montana reading the car manual and arguing with the car that talks.
Word through the grapevine is that Miz Vonda was driving just south of Butte Montana when the car said stop within the next 27.5 miles to refuel. Miz Vonda said lookee here car you don’t tell me what to do. I am the owner and you are a car. I will stop when I want to stop. The car said suit yourself Miz Vonda just choose when you want to stop but if you don’t like walking with a gas can you might want to consider stopping within the next 26.97 miles. Miz Vonda pulled over at the next gas station. It seems the car gets such good gas milage that she did not think it needed gas in addition to the car batteries.
Yes it is time to bring back the A Model Ford. At a time when most of America is getting rid of Toyotas, my sister buys one that talks back to her. I don’t see a bright future for this car. Nobody talks back to Miz Vonda unless they are looooong distance.