THE OWEN GANG RIDES AGAIN OR ANYTHING WORTH DOING IS WORTH OVERDOING by Carl Owen

Got a call from my son Kyle saying he needed my help. I guess I just love to be needed so I caught a flight from Boise and flew into Seattle where he picked me up. His rental unit was in foreclosure and there were two deadbeats occupying the duplex. One he had rented to with a lease and one who the first deadbeat moved in. Deadbeat number one said he had moved out and subleased to Deadbeat number two. So the unauthorized deadbeat was not paying rent and the original deadbeat was also not paying rent but he still had his dog (pit bull named Monster) and his belongings in the rental along with the deadbeat he took it upon himself to move in without Kyle's permission. So, it came to pass that Southern Justice (that's me) came to town to rectify the situation. First, I tried reason which I knew from the start would not work. I just haven't had too much luck with reasoning with deadbeats. I always have this urge to cause bodily harm, but I restrained myself and asked deadbeat number two why he felt that he could stay in my son's house rent free. To my astonishment, he said that he called the free legal aid and they advised him not to pay rent. Well, after seeing red and then redder, I politely informed deadbeat number two that Legal Aid had their head up their anterior region. Well, Washington is close to being the most liberal state in the Union and their laws protect the deadbeats instead of the citizens. I had to go through the eviction process. I had quite a bit of practice at this because the way I earned my title of Southern Justice was by evicting about 3 or 4 other deadbeats. So began the legal process. First a 3-day pay or vacate notice, then a summons for the deadbeats to answer as to why they felt they did not have to pay rent, then a complaint filed with the court to begin the eviction process, then a show cause hearing. The deadbeats showed up at the show cause hearing where deadbeat number one brought along a free lawyer (probably the one who told him that he did not have to pay rent). The free lawyer came over to talk to me and Kyle. She said that she was going to argue that deadbeat number two was not a tenant. We agreed that he was not a tenant but that he had no permission to be in the rental. She asked if we could give him two more weeks to move out. Kyle told her sure, but he would have to pay. She asked how much and Kyle said One million dollars. I interrupted him and said no, no Kyle we don't need a million dollars for two more weeks. The lawyer looked relieved and then I said we will have to have two million dollars. So, she warned us that she was going to argue this and that and this and that. We told her to get out of our faces and go back to her deadbeat client. She was not too happy with me or Kyle. We went into court and the lawyer argued everything except why the rent was not paid. The Judge kept asking her if the rent had been paid and both dirt bags stated that the rent had not been paid so the Judge ordered the Sheriff to throw out the deadbeats with a Writ of Restitution. O.K. That is not the end of the story. Deadbeat number one went and got a free lawyer and drug Kyle back into court by asking for reconsideration. The Judge asked if the rent had been paid and when the deadbeat stated no, then the Judge said "You are evicted". We paid the Sheriff to post the order of eviction with the deadbeat in the rental and at the last allowed minute he moved out. The lesson here is that free lawyers are worth every penny the deadbeats paid. The score is Owen Gang 2, Free Lawyers 0. Now comes the hard part collecting the Judgment the Judge ordered. I will update the story later with those results. Suffice to say the Owen Gang rode again and succeeded. The number two deadbeat said he knew his rights and told us to "bring it on”. So that's what we did. The moral of the story is, "Don't own a rental unit in the State of Washington".